The Benefits of Mistakes

Perfectionist. High Achiever. Overly critical. Lofty expectations. Many of us resonate with these phrases, and maybe even had them placed on us by others or by ourselves. I am one of these people – I have always set extremely high expectations of myself, and struggled...

A Love for Couples

I love doing couples work. I had not worked with couples before I started working at Live Oak.  Most graduate social work programs provide minimal training in this area, so my exposure was limited.   I had always been so interested in and focused upon doing...

Men’s Lives: Lived and Unlived

We live in a time when traditional conceptions of masculinity are subject to critique and revision.  The legitimacy of the critique only makes the conflict more acute.  Here are some examples, based on men I know but presented as composites to preserve...

Why Are You Telling Me This?

I am a therapist. I am white. I am a man. I am a little beyond middle aged. I am in a relationship. I am organized. I like the color blue. I like plants. I like dogs. I like turning flea market finds into useful furniture. I have a bad back. I am Jewish. I am busy....

Is It Really About the Money?

Jordan was seeing me weekly for several years to help him manage his divorce, relationship with his children, and decisions about his career.  It became apparent after the first year of therapy that he had started to use alcohol to reduce his anxiety.  Slowly and...

When Secrecy and Privacy Collide

There are many times in therapy when I am told something by my client that few other people know.  Sometimes, I am the only person who knows other than the person who has told me.  It takes courage to open a secret, and takes careful listening to know when a secret...