The Dog Ate My Homework

Jessica came to see me because she believed her 5 year relationship with her husband Derrick was in jeopardy.  In her first session, she shared that while she knew they loved each other, they had not been intimate for over three years.  Because of a conflict they had...

You Don’t Have to Love Yourself First

Monica had been adopted when she was days old.  She knows nothing about her biological family, but came to therapy because of years of abuse and neglect in her adoptive family.  She describes her mother as cold, critical, and dismissive.  Her father was physically and...

The Power of Not Knowing

After I received my bachelor’s degree in recreation therapy, my first job was at Adler Mental Health Center,  a state psychiatric hospital for children and adolescents.  Adler was where I “cut my teeth” as a mental health professional, and a place where I worked with...

Closer Than We Think

When I talk about the work I do I with other professionals and students, I often share that some of my most intimate relationships are with my clients.  I frequently see eyebrows raise; often two people glancing at one another with a knowing look.  I imagine they are...

Disentangling Safety From Comfort

There is an exercise I facilitate during the first class meeting each time I teach graduate students about trauma.  Before we do the exercise, I ask for people to think about the difference between safety and comfort.  It might seem a strange request to make during...

When Will I Be Happy?

When will this be over?   When will I stop dealing with this?  Why does this keep happening to me? When will I finally be happy?” These are some of the questions I am most frequently asked as people begin working with me.  For those of us who have experienced loss,...

Waiting for Forgiveness or Waiting for an Apology

Sometimes we seek therapy because we are trying to understand and manage hurts that have accumulated over the years or even recent hurts that feel powerful and pervasive.  Of course it’s also true that we may seek therapy for hurts we have caused others in the...

When Your Partner is Depressed

Life has its ups and downs.  It is part of the human experience to feel down sometimes, to have a lack of energy for daily life, and to feel sad for a while.  However, it is crucial to be able to distinguish between the emotional carousel of daily life and the...

The Benefits of Mistakes

Perfectionist. High Achiever. Overly critical. Lofty expectations. Many of us resonate with these phrases, and maybe even had them placed on us by others or by ourselves. I am one of these people – I have always set extremely high expectations of myself, and struggled...

A Love for Couples

I love doing couples work. I had not worked with couples before I started working at Live Oak.  Most graduate social work programs provide minimal training in this area, so my exposure was limited.   I had always been so interested in and focused upon doing...