When Secrecy and Privacy Collide

There are many times in therapy when I am told something by my client that few other people know.  Sometimes, I am the only person who knows other than the person who has told me.  It takes courage to open a secret, and takes careful listening to know when a secret...

Crossing the Lines

Marty consistently talked about his garden each time we met for therapy.  It was his greatest source of pride and, since he retired, where he spent most of his time.  He described it in great detail, often telling me about new plants he had bought or perennials he had...

But This Isn’t a “Real” Relationship…

Relationship Defined:  “an emotional or other connection between people” When I begin meeting with someone, I try to make a point of discussing how therapy works.  I talk about the importance of the content of our sessions, and I talk about the importance of exploring...

When We Hurt Our Clients

It is inevitable.  We will cause pain to our clients. Initially, it must seem counterintuitive to consider that, at some point, we will cause pain to one or more of our clients.  In fact, at the very core of our work is the idea of “doing no harm”.  As we consider the...

How Therapists Listen

If you were to look at a therapist in action, you might not see much action.  There I sit opposite the client, looking intently, commenting on occasion and, yes, sometimes just nodding in agreement while a client speaks.  What could possibly be happening that makes...